Home Alone

re·tired
rəˈtī(ə)rd/
adjective
  1. having left one’s job and ceased to work.
    “a retired state worker”

WOW.  I don’t work anymore at a J.O.B.  I’m in week one of my new adventure of being “retired” from my day job working for the State of California.  Its WEIRD!  I’m only at Wednesday.  Here are the words that describe what I feel.  Guilty, Overwhelmed, and Happy.  WOW, lets add CRAZY to that list of words.  People asked me all the time what I was going to do when I retire. My first thought is “wow, you don’t know me at all, do you.”  Then I say.. “OMG.. EVERYTHING!”   Unlike most retirees I won’t be purchasing the big RV and hitting the road on an endless vacation, that phase of retirement is a long way off.

GUILT!  

Yes, my husband still has to get up and go to work and will need to for about 8 years.  So, when he leaves for work, I feel like I  need to put in my 8-10 hours every day getting stuff done around the ranch, clean house, cook, re-model, clean out the garage, landscape the yard, fix fencing, and the list goes on. The guilt isn’t only about him working and me not working, its also about my guilt of wasting ONE second of this new gift of time I just received.  Its like getting a superpower and not using it!   Now that I’m home, I feel like I need to get every single one of these things done. I also feel that I need to utilize this new found “time” to work on my many projects such as my art, speaking, coaching and other things that bring in money.  I feel guilty writing this blog. I should be finishing laundry or cleaning out the garage or…….

This brings me to the next word….. Overwhelmed.  I still have the mindset that I need to get everything on my long long list done TODAY  because this new found time is going to END soon (or so I think).  This is where I’m driving myself crazy.  I got so good at time management when I had limited time.  Now that I have ENDLESS time, I feel completely overwhelmed. Yeah I know.. we all should have such “problems”.. Having all the time in the world is what we all dream about.  Its like hitting the lottery!  But I have to say, its quite an adjustment! I feel like I need to spend every single MINUTE of this new found gift of doing SOMETHING!  Then the guilt comes back when I’m relaxing because I feel like I’m wasting my superpower.  SO here’s the deal…..

1.  I need to get my head together.  2.  Make a plan     3.  Get myself a routine   4. start practicing the things I preach.

HAPPY

Yes, I’m Happy to be “working” from home and doing the things I’ve always wanted..even if they are chores.  I got my pantry cleaned out yesterday, laid some linoleum tiles and covered the shelves. This is a project that I’ve put off for 15 years!  Now I just keep opening the pantry door and admiring my work done with my new time!  I just need to readjust my brain. I just have to remember to brush my teeth everyday!  jan screen 7

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2 thoughts on “Home Alone

  1. Great post. I’m retiring August 31st and already experiencing everything you wrote about! My brain won’t stop spinning with everything I want to get done!

    Like

    1. You are about to enter the VORTEX! LOL Now that I’m a year and half into this retirement thing, I have chilled out A LOT! However, as time went on, and people found out that I was retired… I became a target for volunteer work, helping friends with this and that, etc. As much as I like to help out. I had to learn to say NO to many things. Oh.. I feel a blog post coming on. Thanks for the comment and the idea! And CONGRATULATIONS!!!

      Liked by 1 person

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